Dark Angel (Poem: Written by Sodee)

Dark Angel

break you down tonight
both eyes are shut tight.
needless shall I say,
the times you had walked away

bringing me down again,
nothing like an Angel dressed in pain.

This is the story of our lives;
live each moment and we'll survive.
In a world that has been hurt,
confused and hated by the scars that have burnt.

Turn off these lights that has covered our night sky,
take off the guilt that grudge inside.
And yet, another day is to come;
you're only here, soon to be undone.

so tell me this,

was it all a lie to you?
to believe in what's not true,
in believing in something new
soon it has become you.

The paper face is there to stare,
its an illusion for you will never care.
at the end of it all,
everyone of us is thrown against our walls.

A thought of a memory while still in trauma
significant other or others drama.
My weakness; my self-impaired creation,
lost in myself, lost in my own reflection.

An Angel has risen,
a new birth that has been given.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Storm (Poem : Written by Sodee)

STORM

You're weaken from this fight;
so lost that you're alone in this light.
All that was gone wont be back til tomorrow;
and all that is here just disappeared in sorrow.

You take your pride and forget the guilt inside,
distracted by the surroundings you couldn't hide,
afflicted by the wounds that shattered your eyes;
to walk around puzzled in the maze of lies.

-like the voices in the rain,
as mysterious as the Angels sang:
A love found throughout pain,
the ending that set you back here again.

-And all that is all.

You held up your hands just to feel what was left of this,
hoped that fate could filled the emptiness.
The emptiness that you lost along the way,
feel like disappearing and began to pray.

As the voices grew louder,
your black clouds grew colder.

In this world nothing is true,
define who we are and what's left of you.
could it be all part of a dream?
what's black and white with blurred in between?!

It makes you hate the beauty in pain;
as its raining again.....

( For more Poetry visit the link www.sodeehout.com )

The truth (poem:written by Sodee)

God blessed us with every beat
with each rhythm is the sound of heat
the sin of us is just the unfold sign
God saved us everyone and in our mind.

lost is the bleeding in this world that's poured onto me
our soul is hanging on edge of the open sea
let me go and I will surely fall
we're drowning in the blood all in all..

Taken every steps to see your destiny
run away from everything that was meant to be
now we're just falling into deep
as living the life of a black sheep.

because,

It can't be control
it can't be undone
it can't be patrol
it cant be out run.

Like the suns that's burning the night sky
one by one the message opened our eyes
God blessed us in every ways
God blessed us: everyone; we're just living for another day.

From the,

sin of the killing.
sin of the unwilling.
sin of the dying.
sin of the lying.

Unwritten, the next chapter in the book
waits upon the fingers' tip
sooner or later people will look
as the hand becomes one with the lip.

We are not alone
the great being is await at home
when I closed my eyes and pray I am there
everything else that matters, just didn't care.

so you say?

you'll wait until you bleed
follow the corporation as it feed
media surrounds you in every ways
telling you lies of how to live your days.

It can't be control
it can't be undone
it can't be patrol
it cant be out run......

It can't be out run.

(For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Bitterness (poem:written by Sodee)

Bitterness

My soul has become a cup filled with emptiness
all lost that's gone had given its forgiveness.
She melt away by the memories of us to be
the one that took our breath away-so hard to believe.

In stillness for hunger a beat for my heart
now we're just ashes from the dust apart.
speak with the deep depth of our voices
listen to the others as they make racket noises.

Anger is the discipline for the soul
breathe the air of this cruel world.
Change like each picture taken from the walls
scratch this scarred memories of us all.

Hate the life that lies beneath the shadows
love each day and put the shame to rest in sorrow.

(For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

My blue sky (poem: written by Sodee)

My blue sky

Blue sky up above the ceiling so high,
beneath the milky way in the solar skies.
My thoughts are evading with my pain.
My blue sky was lost in a stormy rain.

Each reach I extended for forgiveness,
try my hardest to look for righteousness.
A man with blood on his hands,
curious as he stood there but to clueless to understand.

My blue sky; my warmth of feelings,
the desire for more in self taught healing.
spoken as a true warrior,
with the face of a man in horror.

scared as I could be,
restless nights up til three.
I closed my eyes and wonder the facts,
that life is much clearer when you act..

My blue sky will never be gray,
Live for the moment and live for the day.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Different ways (poem: Written by Sodee)

"Its always hard to build a relationship, but so easy to destroy it"

Different ways

If you were to stand there all alone
would you tell yourself that you're home?
and If the stars disappeared from the galaxy
would you still make a wish with me?

my only question before
is, did you ever adore?
the things that I had done
when our hearts were just one.

so tell me are you that desperate ?
to find a love that is not worth it.
your Beauty is just a reason for many things
your love is like an Angel without its wings..

But as for me, I shouldn't be the one to blame
to you; maybe it was just a game.
You had been hurt many times it's insane.
so I shouldn't complain.

where ever you'll go
I'll still be there so that you'll know.
that in your heart there's a memory of us kissing
that was my wish that I wished for; when we were wishing....

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Dear Father, (poem: written by Sodee)

"forgiveness to those who had sinned in the past,
he who knows that change is to better himself."



Dear Father,

To you this is my return,
your presence to my heart was once burn.
now that I've become a man,
I hope this letter will get you to understand.

That even things was never the best between us,
we had our doubts and lost our trust.
you always wanted me to be the man that you had always dream,
dreams are just make believe but in all it felt real to you as it seem.

I'm never going to be alone as I remember every lecture,
never going to let it go , like a solid structure.
but as time goes by,
I'm starting to wonder why.

Father you had always loved me,
from thick and thin I couldn't see.
and you always wanted the best;
from the day I was born til the day I'm put to rest.

You fed me with love and care,
in return I gave you nightmares.
now that you have gone,
I realized I was wrong all along.

I truly miss you dearly,
and I love you sincerely.
No matter what I say,
I wish you a Happy Father's Day.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

I still believe (Poem: written by sodee )

I still believe

I called you last night
to find myself in a stormy fight
just for a second this was real
I took the truth and let it reel.

its 3:03 and I cant sleep
bring your breath next to me
cause tonight I'm here with you
and i still believe in you too

we talked about the past
and how we would never last
if you could listen to the words
the sound of my thoughts that need to be heard.

and If I'm gone tonight
you would bring me back to life
and if you want to leave
i just want to let you know that i still believe.

so take my hands and walk with me
life is ahead for us cant you see?
but if you want to leave
i would still believe

its 3:03 and I still can't sleep
memories of us is just to keep
cause tonight I'm here with you
baby can't you see?
without you here next to me i still believe.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Darkness Breeze (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"as our world crumble we drift away in pain and hunger for righteousness."

Darkness Breeze
The darkness whisper toward the souls that sinned;
earthquake destroyed the ground that made this tragedy spin..
time can't change with all the fear;
a young woman bleed the blood of tears.

this ending is soon ahead of us,
desire is meant to be just lust.
vanished: where the sun had gone,
I've been alone all along.

distance in sight of tomorrow,
lost by the pain and the sorrow.
like a broken glass,
shattered and spread throughout the grass.

bit by bit it spread
held my hopes on a tiny thread.
I'm tired of being here;
just take our final bow and disappear.

like a ghost that I am;
I walk alone to be a better man.
from all of this hate,
I lost the love of faith.

I've been long and gone
where could this life be all along.

home exist and it awaits for me,
the eyes that could not see,
I was blinded by my surroundings,
as my faith was drowning.

once again I shall fight this madness;
against all darkness.
so i keep on walking toward the blinding lights
seek for a better future in sight.

leave the sin of man behind
this is the journey I'm eager to find.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Simple (poem : written by Sodee)

"You may want the best for yourself which is great, but just don't forget the little things in life matters too."
Simple

They say that pain is weakness leaving the body;
your strength is the outcome from a tragic story.
Life is important as love is,
like a past memory; never forget about your first kiss.

Friends and family will fail to make you smile on your toughest days,
just make the best out of it ; that's just something to say.
As for me I'm just a simple man, a man with many vision
the view of life and love to cherish is my own decision..

I don't speak the words of another man's.
the truth is within my actions, just hope she'll understand.
you can say that i'm a realist at times that is in need the most.
close your eyes for a second and I disappear like a ghost.

-and she wonders.

What if, what if we did, what if we had tried, what if this was just simple....

From beginning to end,
from lovers to friends;
life and love is a reason,
a reason for 4 seasons.

-Spring is the time to call out for the sun.

-Summer is the nice long day of fun.

-Fall is the falling of leaves and the fresh air.

-Winter is when our cheeks turn red as cold as we're we just didn't care.

so tell me this, if you had a wish....

Make a simple wish, don't wish for wealth and fame.
with all the money in the world it still be a shame.

as to goals and accomplishments,

Careers, money,and materialistic things;
those are the nice things that life can bring.
But, do what's important and meaningful,
help one another from the heart and not be pitiful.

And then,

you'll understand the little things that matters;
start from the ground and climb up that ladder.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Yours truly (poem: written by Sodee)

"wake up each morning and everything is still the same..."

Yours Truly

There I stood next to her ; just to glance at her eyes
like a touch of rose peddles falling down from the night sky.
we never knew what would come ahead for us,
this feeling that kept us standing there in love or lust.

And I'm thinking maybe I want her, maybe I need her, maybe she's already here
only broken hearts can make this feeling disappear.
you may never say never, but I'll never forget about you.
If memories was to last forever; i would reminiscence of you.

If the Angels cried out ebulliently towards your fate, would you still care?
if heaven forbid, you walk alone would you still stare.
and if this beauty was a lie I'll definitely be drowning:
in a pool of despondency feelings .

But,

As for now in this moment I'm lost in her eyes;
that beautiful spark like crystal in the night sky.
That amazing feeling that kept me standing here,
as I held her tight to comfort her tears.

and if the Ocean was to rise and flood the Nation
I'll swim across the sea: the Ocean of temptation.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

The Better Man (poem: written by Sodee)

"changes only come to those who believe in changes."

The Better Man

Affliction fade from the rise and fall;
all that is lost has gone and done it all.
A stranger is a face of a poker face;
its soul is lost and gone without a trace.

A better man will stand up against its cruelty reach,
Show of angers ; despise against the devil's teach.
A single look into his eyes , a noble man you’ll see;
life is full of surprises ; life is full of soon to be.

speak to the man that’s need to be spoken too
inspire the heart to feel the presence and to;
listen to the words of wisdom that bleed to the heart
never shall you feel the bitterness that will torn you apart.

as if,

Love like you love as tomorrow is your last breath
take the unforgotten soul and show it death.
Breathe that simple breath of being a better man.
find what you love and respect to understand.

Life is too precious to be wasted and taken for granted,
Life is too precious to be wasted ; so don't take this for granted.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

The precious time (poem: written by Sodee)

"there are times when you just need a break from all the things that's struggling throughout life,
the best way is to take a simple nap."

Precious as a flower: a birth of bloom;
she was silent as she took a nap in this crowded room
the gentle wind touched her skin slowly as it kept her asleep,
a steady breeze of life;, wondering if shes dreaming of sheep,

one sheep, two sheep, three sheep, four?
what ever she's dreaming ; its precious and I adore.
Quite as the room will clear;
sat down beside her so I could hear.
A soft song of lullaby- that relaxing melody.
the sound of happiness from beginning to end or just for a suddenly.

As time will change so will this nap
each moment we spend together its fill with joyful-laps.
She'll realized that reality is not fantasy.
that little heart of her's will be torn into misery

So lets listen to that soft melody together
as we close our eyes and slowly drifted away like feathers.
so precious how this nap is to be;
not for long maybe just only for the times that we're free.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

mirth, pleasure, derision, or nervousness : it defines.. (Poem: Written by Sodee)

" Life is full of laughter that can be heard for miles,
Its just waiting for that simple smile."

Laugh..

A day of laughter is a day of fun,
enjoying each other in this radiant sun.
The heat that dissolved the frozen ice to a crystal lake,
I'm looking forward to a vacation, a vacation I shall make.

A simple laugh will cause the envisioning,
why such a laugh so uninteresting?
A laugh is a laugh; that's what they may say,
I would only laugh a laugh on a mournful day.

An electrifying laugh is another expression for being ecstatic,
the laugh of joy, happiness and being fantastic.
Sometimes life is difficult to just walk through,
so give this a laugh, and someday your dreams may come true.

So if its just a laugh for a laugh or an electrifying laugh to be,
make sure when you're laughing, that you're laughing with me.
And don't forget everything that you have done,
Because a day of laughter is a day of fun.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

My Philosophy of Life (Philosophy: Written by Sodee)

The Logical Life
One of my basic Philosophy or theoretical explanation for finding true happiness, comes deep within the mind of the thinker. People tend to judge others before they are even spoken too. The judgmental could either be a compliment or an insult. The mind of a good hearten person tells him/herself to be open and to be reasonable: to think outside the box and about the person other than them self. For example, "put your self in their shoes". When you analyzed these thoughts, It'll bring you to a conclusion; respect others as you want to be respected. Therefore, you've just not saved a life but you can be proud for what you've done by being open and caring.

-What's living life; when all we do is complain and whine? I believe that you shouldn't worry about the small things that bothers you, life will take its road for you. When it come down to everything such as, Money! People all over the world loves money. Therefor, money is everywhere and its in everything. - The Richest get richer and the poorest get poorer. Learn to give a little more and to expect less, because in the end, money doesn't buy you real friendship. As well, always remember to not be greedy and to respect others and people's opinion, because living the famous life is everyone's dream, but being happy is a dream come true.

On the contrary, people have their own ways of finding happiness. Every person has an opinion, an opinion to speak out their mind. - The First Amendment of the United States Constitution - "The Freedom Of Speech". Everyone has their rights to speak out what's on their mind at any given time. However, every saying has its limit. For example, you can not yell out "FIRE" in a crowded theater. When you understand these simple factors , it'll help guide you toward the right direction in life. Just remember, people's opinion matters and will help make a difference in the world..


The logical ways of thinking
As you all know right about now, I'm the most logical person you will ever meet. It's hard at times because you somehow can't manage to comprehend with other people's ideas. When I try to do so, It's like I'm saying one thing and the other person doesn't have a clue of what I'm talking about, because the human mind is constructed to work differently, the way we speak or approach others. However, backing up your information with facts can be a walk in the park.

Arguments, arguments are just there to prove a point. You'll win some and you'll lose some. It's all in the way you approach your facts. But, sometimes you have to not always depend on the facts to win. Use examples; throw out theories- be the big fish and eat up all the little ones. If you think logically you may go beyond the mind's reach. You'll never know what will be waiting for you in the end. Life is just full of surprises, everything changes and everything is not meant to stay forever the same.

The Laws of Leadership
There are many certain obstacles that you will come across in life. Such as, financial problems, friends and family issues and maybe love. You need to take these problem and put it to the challenge. Challenge your weakness in order to overcome the obstacles that brought you down. Therefor, you've to take control and become the person who is at high grounds; above all others: become an inspirational leader. The first law that I'm about to explain affect many things as well to many people.

Influence- a term that refers to the ability to indirectly control or affect the actions of other people or things.(Wikipedia encyclopedia). When you're a good speaker, you tend to know the right things to say to a person. Getting the respectful trust will take times depending on the person you speaking to. Once the trust is gained, you must keep that trust to build other trust within other people. However, being Influential will have its negative sides, therefore, you must balance things out with an optimistic mind.

Trust

trust is the second law that I'll be explaining about. It's mainly to build that friendship and bond between obstacles in life.Without trust, there wouldn't be a team. and without a team there wouldn't be a production and therefor you would have nothing. I live by the three main tools that I use to build up trust; love,hope and faith.Without this guidance tool I wouldn't be the person that I am today.

Love, love is something you must hold onto and be passionate about. Without love, there wouldn't be any passion for the things that you do; life will just play its role and drift you away towards reality. Reality is mean, the real world sucks, no one likes it. But, if life is a major part to you then so let it be. On another note, if you're passionate about something that you have set your mind and heart to why not give it your all. Although, If it's the financial issue that you're having to struggle with, you must make a decision to what really matters the most to you at this point of time in your life: money comes and go but dreams and opportunity rarely do. So put in some love to the things that matters in life, and become a lovable person, as well, to hope for what's in store for you.

Hope, hope is an expression to feel the need for something. I don't think that anyone really know the true definition of hope. lets just say that 'I hope that I'm right about this one'. The way that Hope comes into play with trust is by believing in yourself, Believe that there will always be something better in life for you, believe in the facts that you're a motive and everyone around you is a goal you must succeed. Hope for things to be better, hope for a wonderful life in the future. Also, hope to find new and interesting things and as well, hope to find something that you love. But, the most important tool in life to believe in is Faith.

Faith, I believe that it's always better to have a belief. because having faith is a self taught lesson of building your trust. When faith is unable to meet your potentials; you sometimes feel neglected and nothing to you is real anymore, However, that's just the consciousness, that your mind is letting you know. Because, you don't need to give up on life when everything is a failure: this will just make you a stronger individual. By all means, just have a little faith it wouldn't hurt you to do so!

-So believe in trust; and build up a tools that works best for you, As for me I believe in Love, Hope and Faith. Because I always love what I do in life. I have high hopes for the best things and future. Therefor I have trusted in my faith to believe in my dreams. Nothing can force you to not have a belief in the things that make you happy.

to be continue...

The Meaningful Holidays (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"As the holiday seasons comes along,
make the best out of it, even if you had a bad day"

The meaningful Holidays

I woke up early this morning,
felt the cold chills after a rain of endless pouring.
Last night was a night to remember,
just like our favorite holiday in November..

Only God would know what I love to do,
that Life i wanted; I want to spend it with you.

I wouldn't want to ask for anything;
other than the facts of you're my everything.
you and I have been going at this and always ended up fine;
the headaches and stress of wanting you to be mine.

I woke up this morning,
there again I felt this cold chilling.
Last night was a night to remember,
just like the winter nights in December.

I took your hands and smelled your hair,
there we stand in this cold : as the wind blew against the air.
It was cold, it was dark and it was also nice;
to know that you're here standing with me on the thin ice.

If we was to fall in an ocean after a ship wreak of some place.
I'll be the one to keep you dry on a surface
knowing that you're fine will make me live;
even if life ended for me, love was all I could give.

I hope that you're as happy if I surprisingly go,
cause it'll be sad if you didn't know.
That's the memories that I wanted you to remember
those nights from November to December.

( For more Poetry visit this link www.sodeehout.com )

Nothing Last Forever (AutoBiography:Written by Sodee)

Introduction
Well let me tell you something about myself. I was born on October 20, 1985. My family and I came to the United States, a few months after my mother gave birth to me. We decided to leave Thailand and come to the United States to have a better future for our self, but nothing goes as plan in life. Our family was really poor; both parent did not speak a single word of English at all. My hectic life all started at the New york airport.

New York, NY
My mother told me a story about their first day in America, and how our family missed our flight from New York to Boston. My parent waited at the airport for about 8 hours or more; not knowing what was going on. Kindly enough said, 2 wonderful citizen, a lady and a man over hear my brother crying non stop; ridiculously crying - came up to him and offered him some cookies and some treats: what wonderful people they are! The lady and gentleman ask my father about the situation and they kindly asked him if they could see his paperwork. Now, my father is a stubborn man, he doesn't trust anyone; ANYONE! But at times like this he had to put his ego to aside and think about his family. So my father did what they had ask him for and surprisingly my parent found out that our flight left us awhile ago. The lady and the gentleman were really kind and helpful they even offered to sponsor us and take our family into their home in California and help us out, but my father wanted to be close to the family. Our only relatives during the time was my aunt, uncle and cousins who live in Lowell, Ma ; the best people anyone could ask for!
The New York airport called Boston airlines and told them about our situation; 6 hours later we were picked up and headed to Boston.

Lowell, Ma
My childhood:not much but growing up was priority. I did not have any friends to play baseball outside with or even for a nice indoor board game. My father; stubborn as he is, would not allowed any of my siblings to have any friends from school to come over and play. Our days starts of by waking up from bed, get ready for school, go to school, come home and do our homework. I remember the only time he would allow us to play outside, if only, when he is outside on the deck drinking with his friends. My mother had to work 2 jobs to support us while my father couldn't have a stable job. My father was not a nice guy at all, even though I only knew him for 5 years he was never a father for anyone of us. My mother decided to leave him and took us with her one night- I did not know much detail but all I can say is that my siblings and I had to wake up in the middle of the night, ran out to the streets and just kept running away from home. My mother was bleeding and the way she looked at us, in fear brought tears to my eyes. We decided to stop and rest at my aunt and uncle's house for the night.

Fitchburg, Ma
My mother and us 4 children decided to move away from all the drama back in Lowell. She was finally happy to start a new life for us; I was 6 years old at this time. I couldn't careless where my father was; I hated him. So we were doing great: we went to a nice school made some friends. I think this is where my childhood begin. I had a best friend at that time, we were always hanging out and do what little boys like to do, be adventurous, get muddy and have lots of fun! I remember the first time I saw a naked woman, It was with him, we were at our small secret area; a place where we can go to just to get away from everyone and hangout. We decided to look around for some materials to make a club house and I stumble upon a porn magazine: it was awesome! I didn't know what everything was really meant at that time. I was really young so I guess I was disgusted to see boobies haha. so we joke around holding the pornography in the air ; throwing it at each other while shouting out cooties. It was quite a laughter, but then again nothing is to last forever.

The Rude Man
A year or so have gone by since the drama in Lowell. Suddenly, one day I had come home from school to see my father in our home hugging my mother. He was promising her that he's a change man and he would be better and do good for his children. My mother couldn't say no to the father of her children, so she took him back. Things went well I started believing that he's changed man, until that one night. He decided to go out and drink, then came back home drunk and started a fit with my mother.I remember seeing and hearing her yell at him and I also remember "The Devil" hitting her so brutal the images is still captured in my head till now. My oldest sister, only 10 years old had to be responsible for her young ones while my mother was taken to the hospital. It was my sister who called 911 that night, the officers arrested my father then another officer took us to the police station that same night. During that time, We had no parental guardian to take us in, my aunt and uncle lived a few cities away and did not hear about this till the very next day, because my mother is the only one with the contact information. Overnight, my siblings and I stayed in a small room that was located at the corner entrance of the police station. My mother recovered the next day all bruised up and had stitching across her head. After this trauma we had to leave far away from my father as possible. We decided to pack our clothes and left everything behind and moved out to Connecticut.

Danbury, CT
This was a fresh new start for us and it was a pretty good one. I can still remember so much details about living in Danbury, because while I was there I actually made memories. My mother had found a small apartment in the ghetto side of Danbury. It was all that we could afford at that time. My mother went to work while we went to school. During the day the street was pretty calm and peaceful, but when it got dark, hell started to rise. There were nights when my mother would stay up just to make sure that we could be safe and get our rest for school. Ever other nights we would all gather up into one room and just lay close to each other whenever we were scared. I can't recall seeing my mother happy at this time of or any time before it. Then, some nights we would hear people fighting and gun shots being fired. After 5 months of horror we decided to leave and move to a nicer side of Danbury. Things went well after that, we had a house, a nice neighborhood and good people around us. This was the life we intended to live for. for a very long time, but then again nothing is to last forever.

After 3 years of living in Danbury, CT, my mother met a wonderful man. He was the nicest and sweetest person I've ever met. He brought us out for ice cream, video games and he also treated my mom like a gentleman. About 6 months into dating he asked my mother to marry him, (I know 6 months is really early, but its an Asian culture we don't believe in "dating"). So my mother got remarried and I was happy to see that she was finally happy for once in her life and that made me very happy. After the marriage my step father and mother decided to move back east so that my mother would be closer to family once again. So we packed up our bags and left most things behind and started a new life in Providence RI.

Providence RI
When we arrived in Providence we didn't have a place to stay, so we decided to stay with our cousin for a few months until my step father find us an apartment. Finally I was 10 years old, happy and healthy, my mother was pregnant with her fifth child and I was ready to be and older brother to a little sister. I remember playing outside a lot with the neighborhood children. My step father's family decided to move from Wisconsin to get closer to us so they got themselves a place right next door. so every morning I would wake up and help out my Grandma with her garden because she had the most beautiful garden ever, just right before I go to school I would water it everyday. I still remember her yelling at the stray cats for eating up her veggies haha. During this moment everyone just seemed happy, but then again nothing is to last forever.

The strangers
At this time there were some issue between my step father's brother and some really bad people. I believe it was about gambling and money. So, one night my mother and step father decided to go out and left my older sister to be in charge of us until they get back. I can still remember that night, we all played our favorite movies and each of us took turns in picking out a movie to watch while also eating ice cream.

Everyone fell asleep before 10'clock that night; I wanted to be the cool one who get to open the door for the parent and say "HI welcome home!". But, surprisingly that knock on the door that night was not my parents at all. I ran up to the door after hearing the knocks , it was a slightly soft knock like a person trying to come in but didn't want to wake up the entire home. I ran quickly as i did , not caring who is it but was expecting to be my parents. I opened the door and a group of men all in black with a rag covering their faces; they looked like Ninjas with long knives they had carried with them, each one of the 5 men had a motive that night. It was like their motive was to kill and leave no evidence behind.

They walked into the house, there I stood all alone in the kitchen not knowing what to do. They did a quick search around the house and did not find what they came for so they quickly took off one by one. But then the last man stop and turned around and walked towards me and he placed the knife on me and just stood there and stared into my eyes. That and then I knew that he had given me a second chance because everything happens for a reason; just the way he glanced at me even though it was only for a few seconds I understood his message; telling me that life is hard and never to give up: then he ran off. After this incident we moved to another house and lived there for a year and decided to move back to Ma in a little town call Attleboro.

Attleboro, Ma
Being the new kid was pretty tough in a new town, but then again I had a tough life. It all started in the 6 grade, I was the new kid in school and even worst I was the only minority in my homeroom class. I knew that I needed to step up my reputation if I ever wanted to fit in, I just needed the right people to be friends with. So I started at the bottom of the chain. I always got into random fights because of my size , comparing against big bullies trying to pick a fight me. Ironically I always made a good impression for myself, It was always a win for me, my reputation meter for being cool was going up, but my education level and good deeds started going down. By the 8th grade I've made so many friends and I was happy with that, and to top things off, my family decided move to a different location in Attleboro so the school district was not an option for me, I had to change school during my 8th grade year after making so many friends I had to start over, but this time it was pretty easy I just stuck to my game plan and itit was like a walk in the park, life was good until High school.

My beautiful love
It was 1999 I started my freshmen year at Attleboro High. Things was going so well for me until I heard the news that had trembled me into many pieces. I can still remember that day, I woke up and started the car for her to warm it up just before we headed out to school like every other morning. I knew she wasn't happy because it wasn't normal for her to be sad. She is usually energetic and ecstatic about her day and school. Every teacher and student admire her for her wonderful personality and intellectuality. When it come to personal issue trust was never an issue, she was the only person that I could go to when ever I need someone to talk to or get advice from. She was smart, beautiful and very caring for others. She was the best sister that anyone could ask for. She was never irresponsible: she was a role model, she was my role model.

The visitors
It was 7pm, our family was all home except for her. We thought she had to stay after school to do some project and went to work right after. But it was mistakenly assumptions that we made, she never made it home that night.

Later that night, my mother had waited for my sister to come home. It was a school night for her and she was never like this, so my mother was pretty worried. 9pm, two hours had gone by since we had our family dinner. Two led head lights from a black vehicle flashed brightly through the living room windows. The door bell rung , my mother walked toward the door and open to see who it would be; visiting this late on a school night. The door cracked open, there were two men in a nice black suit with a matching tie to go with their shoes; they addressed themselves as detectives. and they had to come by to tell us that my beautiful sister had passed away. It was the saddest day in my entire life. Ironically after hearing this terrifying news, I did not cry, not one single tear drop : I was sad, yet I was shocked as well. It wasn't until a few days later, I finally realized that she is really gone and I did not get to tell her that I love her. She did not deserve this nor anyone should, but that's life: nothing is to last forever.

sorry folks I've been writing this for more than 6 hours time for a break... to be continue plus I need to revise it as well haha :)

Can you... (lyrics: written by Sodee)

can you....

So listen closer
to every word I have to say
can you help me can you change my ways
are you ready are you ready for me.

(chorus) can you feel it let the moment go by
can you see it watch the light flash you by
can you hear it to the music you see
are you ready, are you ready for me

and now I can break , break down and say
only you, you brought me up to my feet
with out you, you made my life incomplete

(chorus) can you feel it let the moment go by
can you see it watch the light flash you by
can you hear it to the music you see
are you ready are you ready for me

love, love, love
oh how i love you
and how I cant live without you
and I love you more than anything
cause without you ill be nothing.

(chorus) Can you feel it let the moment go by
can you see it watch the light flash you by
can you hear it to the music you see
are you ready are you ready for me.

and I, I will be left all alone
when you leave me
I'll be lonely at home
please forgive me...... tonight.

The Letter (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"What have I become, this animal inside me,
it had begun!"

The Letter

My hands felt like the cold winter in December,
the fingertip was harden like a frosted timber.
My head began to spin around,
not knowing if its just me, or that mysterious sound.

I walked around and try to clear my head,
but then again, a picture of her came to mind instead.

My heart began to rumble in trepidation; against my chest
with every beat it makes it didn't sounded its best.
My eyes began to move up and down
the vision of her tells me that she's in town.

I stepped away for a moment, away from this feeling
instead I became distracted, delusion of her caught me starring at the ceiling.

Her beautiful voice clinger onto my ears
that sound I didn't want to hear.
The pain and headache from all of her crap,
like a fly that I am caught in her spider trap.

This moment is mine so leave me forever
never shall you return please read this letter.
I had to call this to an end
a tragic love story: let me just click send.

The Battle of an Illusionist (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"you wake up every day to realize that nothing has changed,
so you walk in this lonely road just to find pain.
the sorrow of a lost love, the hope from what's above"


The Battle of an Illusionist

Darkness arose upon your light,
take another bow and prepare to fight.

What can a man do when his feeling is true?
To feel such hate to feel so cruel.
The questions that I've ask: can this be done?
In order to win you'll have to lose some.

I looked toward the distance, I stood up tall and still.
My heart's beating in a fast-paced, so rapidly; so peril.
a moment was captured by the light's reflection that shine,
flashed by my images, flashed in a thin red line.

Anger: so abruptly has I become
the feeling so corruptly towards just one.
I fell back for just a moment, and took a deep breath;
the breath of distress that left my body: felt accomplished in health.

I feel so much better now than 30 seconds ago,
my life is to precious to be in sorrow.
I took this time to realize all my affliction thoughts.
A restless fight, the fight that I have fought.

The Caused of A Falling Beauty (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"Happiness is not always about what you want nor it's about what you need. It's just simply being happy at the moment, and in this moment I am happy."

The Caused of A Falling Beauty

A caused that fell from the night sky;
shimmering lights that flashed you by.
A comet, a crater, or even a shooting star.
That is the simple wish; for that you are.

Precious, pretty, or such a beautiful sight;
that you complete my day and you complete my night.

Forever this feeling I feel: I felt for you,
will remain in me after we say I do.
I never doubt the trust we have in us,
as I do for all the mistakenly past lust.

What we have is what is call love,
cause you're my Angel: God's gift from above.
I promise you that I'll be true;
a promise is a promise and a thank you is a thank you.

So let this be a lesson to all the single men out there,
when you find the perfect girl; be well prepare!

Love is a 4 letter word,
The beauty of it is just waiting to be heard.

Breathing Endlessly (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"When life comes at you too fast,
take a deep breath and enjoy every seconds you have."

Breathing Endlessly

The breathing violent;
of breathing some more
The emotional breathing;
I breathe some more.

The warm and heart felt breathing;
a breath of distraught that's leaving.
The contentious of breathing;
a woman's strength for conceiving

The breathing that last a lifetime;
the breath of mankind.

Breathe, stop, breathe "mi amor", breathe some more.

Breathing is for the nervous.
Breathing is for the weakness.
Breathing is for the strongest.
I breathe for the longest.

For the breath I take;
this breathing I make.
I breathe for love.
I breathe for life.
I breathe to all,
and to all I breathe goodnight.

Time Line (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"In every chapter of a man's life, he will have to make a decision"

The Time Line

An old man walked toward a narrow road;
to stumble upon a golden toad.

He asked the toad, "how was your day?"
The golden toad replied; with a mournful gray.
"And why so sad my little friend?"
The golden toad replied; "you've reached the end"

"and to the end I shall cross this line."(the old man said)
"then you shall cross this line and end your time."(the toad replied)

- So the old man took a step forward and he felt love.
the heaven lifted his soul up above.

Darling, Darling (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"Never leave the ones you love for the one you like,
cause they'll end up leaving you for the one that they love."

Darling,Darling

Summer nights would only become;
your greatest place that you call home.
The memories that we had kept;
in our sacred time, in our "Sept".

We once knew the love we had;
a priceless hope a bit or a tad.
Even though we struggle through time;
we still laugh and dance to the melodies' chime.

Oh Darlin oh Darlin I can't really see;
in my thought is where you would be.
The moment I finally close my eyes;
the vision had vanished into the night sky.

Oh Darlin oh Darlin I can't imagine us?
to fall in love or is it just a lust.

Inconsolable Truth of Happiness (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"I was confused from all this drama,
that I never realized that I was all alone."

The Inconsolable Truth of Happiness

I waited upon the night sky;
wondering in time I'll be by your side.
The warmth of your body absorbed my inner feelings;
the thoughts of a beautiful healing.
As we stood in front of one another;
I took your hands and we held each other.
Your hair blew with the wind that dance;
we danced away till we can not dance; anymore.

Fallen Rain (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"Every drop has its meaning; so meaningful that it will drown you in the end."

The Fallen Rain

Sometimes it rain endlessly.
Nothing to do but to listen;
to the sound that's heavenly.
That made me weaken.

I'm not the man in the iron mask.
Your love changed me for the better,
all you had to do was ask.
This is why I wrote this letter.

If I could change the world for you,
I would name all the ocean;
after you,
because there is no way i'll sail this ocean;
without you.

Unforgiven Love (Poem: Written by Sodee)

"I shall forgive and forget, but never forgotten."

The Unforgiven Love

What can a man do when his only love is dying?
When you know that there is nothing you can do but to wait.
As time race each night you feel so alone in an empty room with an empty heart that once was there but now is torned apart.
What can a man do, when life comes at him too fast?
Never a time to cherish; the memories.
-Falling down so hard was the easiest, but picking yourself back up is the hardest.
What can a man do, when he's drowning in a world of hate and never could find love again.
Where is the love?
Love: a precious time of beauty; this man was once loved.